I Refuse To Change Another Diaper After This Trip.

The other volunteers have left so it’s only me, the four adults, and 18 chilluns’. I spend most of my time with the babies. I usually have Deborah or Donna with me, but when you’re around a certain group of people more than anyone else, you tend to bond with them; even if they don’t talk.
I’ve never been around babies before, so I started out as a student in baby-caring. I used to be afraid of caring for them; they seem so fragile and innocent, like I could infect them just by touching them. And I didn’t know what to do with them; people always talk to them, but it’s not like the kid can understand them, and bouncing them up and down makes you look ridiculous. But, babies are ridiculous little critters. So…I learned to change diapers, how much and often they eat and sleep, how flexible and sturdy they are, how easy it is to shove a bib or bottle in their open crying mouths, how puffy their diapers are which I think are specifically designed to pad falls, and how to toss them into cribs. All in all, babies are not nearly as fragile and frightening as I thought they were. And I’ve discovered that ALL BABIES ARE OVERSIZED CHIPMUNKS.
Jacob has enormous eyes and chubby cheeks used for storage. He likes to shove food in his mouth so hours later we’ll find broccoli on the floor. He was just hitting my laptop so I slapped his cheeks as he tried to bite my hand, until he crawled away. He also likes to vomit frequently, escape from the play room, play with the VCR after repeatedly being smacked, and crawl over the smaller babies. He has a goofy laugh that sounds like he’s nervously stuttering, and a soft little baby wail which is refreshing compared to Mynor’s, which can be heard from the other house.
Josué just walked up and did the same to my poor abused laptop, so I did the same to his cheeks. He had a very confused look on his face and then decided he…liked it. And drooled on my hand. He also has incredibly chipmunkish cheeks that go “flap flap flap” when I slap them, and Mayan heritage which gives him little beady black rodent eyes. When food is placed on his height chair, he takes a fist full and shoves it in his mouth-fist and all. With parents so genetically close (his mother is also his sister and his father is also his grandpa), you’d think he’d be retarded, but he is the smartest baby. He’s an escape artist, enjoys playing with the TV and VCR, loves stealing other babies’ bottles if they’re laying around. He’s one of the easiest to take care of because his temperament is so laid back, but I’ve diagnosed him with ADHD. He’s always on the run, hates sleeping, and refused to be held until recently. Somehow, without trying to, I’ve captured his little heart. Sometimes he crawls his diaper-padded butt over to me and lifts his arms up and whines to be picked up, then sits contently in my lap and cries if I put him down. He has an amusing, mournful cry, which is the only time he tries to talk, so it’s like a “waaaah wah ba ma maaaaaa!”He is by far the cutest baby here, and also my favorite. 
Mynor the whiner is a year and a half old and communicates with screaming bloody, gory, eaten-alive-by-cannibals murder (he has alcohol syndrome) and…pointing and squeaking. He screams when someone leaves the room, when his diaper is being changed, when a baby takes his toy, when he’s put down, put in his height chair, and especially when he’s put in bed. He has a belly that reaches farther than his face, waddles with baby steps, has cheeks that take up more than half of his face and a mouth that takes up the rest, and large black eyes. A baby chipmunk, clearly. Although, his temperament is more like that of a rabid squirrel; he pushes, bites, and hits the other babies and takes toys away from them, so he is frequently smacked on the hand and put in the corner. We tell him that when the babies grow up, the three boys are going to gang up on him; but all they’ll have to do is call him a wimp and he’ll start screaming.
Mercedes is 7 months old and is also of Mayan decent; she has chubby cheeks, beady black eyes, and a tiny pointed mouth. She eats slowly because she chews like a sloth and she shrieks, not cries. She poops twice her weight in a day and I think may grow up to be pretty smart, as she must be preoccupied with toys at all times or she cries. She doesn’t have much hair, but she’s fun to dress in cute little girly clothes.
The volunteers and I called Karina “trolly”. She looks like one of those plastic, wild-haired trolls with the big eyes and goofy facial features. She’s got all of these, including the uncommon full head of hair at only 5 months; but that makes it fun to put it into strange hairstyles.  She smiles randomly, is as tiny as a Chihuahua, and is pretty laid back. Her poop tends to be yellowish and slimy so I try my best to avoid changing her, but she has the cutest collection of donated clothes that we like to dress her up in.
Isaac is more like a zombie. He was abandoned in a hospital and was left in a crib with no stimulation for the first 6 months of his life, so at 1 year old he’s at the same level as a 6 month old. He communicates with grunting and cries with an eardrum-piercing scream constantly, which worsens his hernia and makes it pop out more…which is only visible while changing his diaper…which is so disturbing that I refuse to change it. He only crawls with one leg, drools like a Saint Bernard, and likes to chew on unsuspecting feet and hands. He has a stupid looking, square chubby face, that I pray he’ll grow out of. Donna tries to spend time with him so she can learn to love him. I only spend time with him to shove a bottle or bib in his mouth.
Davey is a spoiled little gringo. A gringo is what Guatemalans call Americans, who they charge more for everything. Davey has blonde hair, blue eyes, pointy chin, and lumpy cheeks that make an interesting scrunched up face when he’s angry. Everyone says he’s cute, but Tab and I agree that he’s not. He is a few months younger than Mynor and he talks and walks better, but is just as whiny and ten times as bratty and never gets spanked for throwing the same fits. He mostly only cries when someone is looking because he’s a little attention whore, but cries over EVERYTHING, so I see his ugly scrunched up face more than his clownish smile. He is separated from the babies a lot so I’m not around him much, and when I am I avoid him out of a secret and suppressed contempt.
Rosa isn’t a baby but she’s always around them, except for naps. She’s three years old and has every awful common quality attributed to her age. She always asks why, makes pointless messes, stalls like a turtle when she’s asked to do something, and plays the stupid card like no one ever has which is why I gave up on teaching her how to count to 10 and the alphabet after 3 days. And in the middle of a conversation when you and she are the only people in the room, she randomly asks “who, me?” Yes Rosa, you little horror. YOU.